A couple of days ago on my other site, I posted a personal plea to Kiefer Sutherland regarding his computer illiteracy.
No one, not even famous people should have to go through life computer illiterate – especially Jack Bauer's alter ego.
I now wish to use this platform to extend my services to any of the worlds wealthy, powerful and/or well know yet computer illiterate folks.
Let me help you.
For a small fee or a pile of signed merchandise I can sell on eBay, I will personally raise your computer literacy level to at least functional. And I'm the right guy for the job too. My credentials:
- I'm discreet.
- I'm no threat to your acting career or your fame.
- I guarantee that you are physically more appealing than I am if you are a movie star, or richer than I am if your wealthy or powerful.
- I'm willing to teach your family, posse or entourage along with you.
- I know computers, with over 10 years experience in the field, publishing my own website about geeks and spending way to much time typing stuff like this.
- I have a loving personality and I get along with kids, animals and agents.
- I don't have a criminal record.
- I like long walks on the beach under the moon with a laptop and a cellular modem.
- I'm not a stalker, serial killer, kleptomaniac, financial advisor or movie reviewer.
- I'm licensed in some countries to perform marriages and practice medicine.
If you don't know the difference between DSL, Cable, FIOS, PPP, I can help you. I'll teach you the following skills and concepts:
- How to blog like a lonely teenager.
- WoW for beginners.
- Linux – it's not a kind of antelope.
- No you really shouldn't open that attachment and here's why.
- YouTube has nothing to do with toothpaste.
- CAPS LOCK AND HOW TO TURN IT OFF.
- Home networking, OS Installs, software and hardware troubleshooting, shell scripting.
- Macs – yeah, there really is only one mouse button.
Remember my jingle inspired motto – If you're famous, I want to teach YOU!